Does it feel 'Shri' to you? (Rozana Yunos)

I attended a yoga workshop today by Jac Fang and she shared with us Anusara yoga which she had learned from her immersion in Bali not too long ago. I really enjoy having Jac as my (if possession was ever at all possible!) yoga teacher because she has helped me believe in my body's capabilities and I will be one of those who will burn that myth into the ground about fat people not being flexible. Your flexibility as I discovered has nothing to do with your shape or size. I am pretty flexible that I can touch the ground with my hands and it will not hurt the back of my legs as I stretch bending forward.

For me, yoga is a practice whereby it helps raise awareness to our bodies. Every single move and pose in which we position our bodies into has a purpose. Just as every type of food we eat has a purpose too and being on this programme helps bring awareness to your body and what you put inside to fuel it.

What I discovered in today's workshop was how to engage our muscles fully in order to completely experience how powerful the body really is. I could feel my muscles really working its best and although it felt awkward in the beginning in doing some of the moves, I could see improvements in the way I did lunges, the plank, downward dog and also the cobra pose. Even standing up with my arms stretched up to the sky felt different today. It was as if I was truly surrendering myself to what the universe has to offer. And I always remember that in life, we must embrace the good and the bad for how we can appreciate the good if we do not know what the bad feels like or looks like. Engaging the muscles I relate to engaging ourselves in the life that we have. Life is so short to let it slip past us and for us to dwell in thoughts that do not serve us.

What I learned was an important question. "Does it feel 'shri' to you?" Meaning - does it feel comfortable to you? Does it feel good for you? All this time, when I have done yoga I have always wanted to achieve "perfection" but really how do you define perfection and who's definition do you have in the first place? When Jac asked the question, does it feel 'shri' to you? I thought, I do not have to "force" my body into positions in which I am uncomfortable or that my mind tells me that I am less than. It is about doing what is best for me without judgement and comparison to others and making sure I enjoy the process as I go along. After all, life is meant to be made up of discoveries!

I link this to the weight loss adventure I am currently on. I ask myself, does it feel 'shri' for me? And so far, after a week into it, I would give a resounding YES! I feel a lot lighter, some of my clothes are not as tight as before and even though it is the fasting month, I do have a good level of energy in the morning. I really am beginning to feel the 'shri-ness' of doing this. And while I smell food on the dinner table of things I cannot eat (I will literally pick up the bowl and bring it to my nose!) and comment that they look really tasty, I do not regret embarking on this adventure at all!

Just as with yoga, everything that we do requires constant practice and always remembering to take action. So I hope in the next few days to engage my muscles in the privacy of my own bedroom and feel how 'shri' it is doing these poses. I take comfort in knowing that I am taking steps everyday to create a better body and a better life for me.[Photo] Thank you Jac for today's workshop. And thank you for always being a caring, compassionate, passionate and empowering teacher

(Thank you Zana, for sharing your 'light' on yoga...)

Realigning with the Universe

I'm so happy, just found out I'll be seeing a dear friend, Nicole, (distant by sea) in December.  To my delight, we'll both be doing Immersion II (Anusara with Desiree Rumbaugh) in Taipei.  Nicole is someone who's left an impression on me, always reminding to open my heart to grace and flow of life.  I do believe in meeting people for a reason, they are the ones that shape our life, making a difference to what we think.  And some friends we meet along our journey were the ones we might have met in our 'past lives' (maybe) and have re-met , or re-connect, to help us find the 'light' and 'inspirations' along the way.  Things don't happen without a reason.

In the workshop (Sunday 13th Sept), I explain to the students how sometimes life doesn't happen the way you imagine or expect it to be.  There won't be any rhyme or reason to the situation and you would have thought or imagine life to be unfair.  But if you choose to open your heart to 'grace', you learn life has a way of re-aligning you with the Universe.

When we practice yogasanas (the poses), we can try to re-connect ourselves to the Universe through the poses.  Instead of going into the poses immediately, perhaps we could gather the energy we have around us, directing the 'prana' into our center.  And from that 'center', we start to engage the 'energy' into our feet, our legs, our arms, our hands and feel the intrinsic goodness in ourselves.  We could also soften our 'heart' to the world, reconnecting as well as realigning our inner and outer 'being' to the Universe.  A feeling of 'oneness'.

Feeling 'connected' to what we do in life and visualizing the 'bigger' picture that's waiting for us, we might perhaps be more open to the flow of life without resistance or being too 'pushy'.  We probably feel better in ourselves to 'let go' and not feel we have to be in 'control' all the time.  Cause learning to 'open' to grace, we feel the freedom and stability that gives us that utmost happiness and respect for all life.

Yoga Workshop in Om Place Studio

It was my very first yoga workshop, aiming to introduce some anusara to the students.  I could tell the students were ready to embrace the teaching, but whether they were ready to embrace anusara as a way to integrate into their yoga practice was another question.  I prepared myself prior to the workshop on what I thought I might say and what I could teach on.  Thinking 2 hours was plenty, I actually planned to teach the students surya namaskara applying the primary principles of anusara.  It was hard work!!! I was sweating through, trying to explain, demonstrate and teach.  And this was just only the beginning.  It felt like the workshop was only 15 minutes and before I realised, my 2 hours were over due. I still wanted to continue teaching the standing poses applying anusara.  Aiyayai!!!

We discussed about 'inner and outer spiral', scooping the tailbone, side body long and lifting at the heart.  And yes, there were definitely laughs, but more importantly an understanding to practice mindfully, create consciousness, integrate the feeling of 'oneness', a flow of grace from the heart and to create stability and freedom in the pose.

All in all, I think it went well and I'm definitely planning to do more yoga workshops in reference to anusara.  Experiencing anusara has helped me to embrace and celebrate life not just on the mat but off the mat too.  It has helped take me to that 'place' of remembrance, to inner strength, courage, strength and growth, spreading the delight I have gathered, expressing it through my poses. There's so much to share and connect with the students, I'm just hoping it'll be a continue growth for them as I feel it has been for me.  

               

8.30 a.m-thanks to the call

8.20 a.m Woke up by my dear sister's overseas phone call.  Missing her and the little rascals, wish she was back in Brunei  

8.30 a.m Snugged back into bed, looked over at my yoga mat leaning against the bedroom door (placed it there to remind me to practice)....Mind says 'yes, let's do it' ...Body says,' need to sleeeeeepppppp'..... Mind says,' come on, surprise yourself, you'll feel better after' ........Body says,' Mind is crazy, don't listen to her, better to be in bed then doing DFD'  ......Mind says,'Jac, stop wasting time talking to yourself...just get out of bed and do it!'

8.40 a.m  Rolled my mat out, played Benji & Heather's Shantala music for a little motivation, sat on my mat and started mimicking a cat's stretch, and some weird animal stretches...like the ones that just woke out of hibernation.

8.50a.m ....Humming along to Benji & Heather's music..Going into Uttanasana, stretching legs out.....and reached all the way up to stand in Tadasana..ahhh, already feeling a little more energise.

9 a.m  Surya Namaskara in it's first round........then, second....third...

9.30 a.m  Feeling the divinity in each pose...breathe...flow.....ahhhhhh

9.40 a.m  Taking the practice further with arm balances, urdva danurasana

 included

9.50 a.m  My new favourite, handstand (with the wall of course) Hellooo world in it's upside down state......we all feel that sometimes..

10 a.m    Shavasana..................yummy

10.10 a.m   Sitting in Siddasana......contemplating inner self, thinking, listening, just be, meditate, bliss.......hmmmm

10. 25a.m  Saying my thanks and gratitude in silence for the practice. Om namah shivaya

10.30 a.m  Ready for the 'gifts' of the day.........   :o)

Rasberry Cheesecake + Angst & Worries

I think it is easy to call a place 'home' when the people you're around with are filled with ease and calmness.  You wished it just last forever.  Of course the universal plan throws you off the tangent from the so called perfect moment and digs a pit hole for you to crawl out from, your mind is thinking," What the ding dang dong was that all about? Seriously! Did I deserve that?" 

See, I'm in that 'pit hole' every now and then.  And this is one of them.  And yes, I'm a yoga teacher, but I'm also a person with everyday issues.  Not personally, but whatever's been thrown into my court, I try to deal it in the best way I know how.  So, writing a blog ain't that easy if I'm going to throw in a few things about 'me' in reality.  It's definitely challenging to do so in a country where the population are your neighbours.

So what is the 'yogic' way of dealing with such situations? Hmmmmmm,  I don't do 'ho hums' (not when my thoughts are filled with ' what am I suppose to do about this?') ..I don't do 50 sun salutations, I don't try and imagine the situation doesn't exist.. usually my solution is.... I would have a rasberry cheesecake in a quiet little part of the garden, with my decaf cuppuccino, take my ipod and play soft movie soundtracks (in this case, it's The Curious Case of Benjamin Button...very soothing)

Most times, I ponder and think what I can do to resolve the 'situation'...and you know what, sometimes, the 'situation' just refuses to go away. Some of them just seem to reoccur and are adamant to kick you in the butt no matter what you say or do.  And then in my head, I'm thinking, what the crap am I suppose to do right now?.....  I'm Deepak Chopra-ding the situation and it's still messy, I'm Dr Dwyer-ing myself to help the situation and I still am worried.  I'm placing crystals around the 'situation' and it's going to take a crystal meteorite to figure this out ( I think)....so, what can I do?

Then I came across this from Daily Om, "..When the situation gets dark, rather than feeling angry or frustrated, just observe without judgement, without focusing on the negative aspects or qualities, instead, increase your own light of energy you know you have within you already and hold that light for others around you."  I think reading that sentence has really helped.  Not that I feel what it says portrays you to be the ' hero' in the situation,  but rather to hold yourself steadfast, strong, illuminous, compassionate and 'constant of nature' even in utmost chaos.  The 'light' you hold doesn't need to 'control' and 'enforce' but to "...remember that everyone must find their own to awakening and the experiences they are having are an essential part of their process...." 

........so guys .....this is my 'ho hum' for the day, at least for now....and if that doesn't work, rasberry cheesecake it is...yes sir-ree.

A reminder to myself

I was clearing out some old stuff and came across an old note I made to myself to remember so I shouldn't forget...

• Note how your form is behaving and how it is feeling.  Evaluate.                                                    Eversince my return from Bali, I have been constantly reminding myself what it feels like to live a life without fear and expectations, to be able to speak truthfully from the heart without having to feel I have to meet people's expectations of what and who I should be...and you know what.........it feels great to 'just be'.  Even if everything around me is going a little topsy turvy, haywired or when crap hits the fan, I'm in reminder life sometimes throws you 'off the tangent', it happens so that it realigns you back with the Universal plan.  
• 
  
• Go beyond your comfort zone on a regular basis.  Ask yourself, " What patterns in my life do I continuously repeat because that is where I am most comfortable?"  Extend yourself to new levels, do things you thought you weren't capable of.                                                                        I'm definitely a creature of bad habits that needs to break her form.  Have been a tv addict before I left Bali ( there wasn't a tv in the bungalow....thank goodness, Nicole probably won't have let me watch it anyways), but so glad to say I have used that time to read books that has been sitting on my shelf and just spending time outdoors with Peter (which I normally don't do since it's always sweltering hot in Brunei but Peter loves the sun and I can't bask under the sun like he does cause unlike Peter, I don't fair easily after the tan.....I know...vanity gets the better of me sometimes........) ...and yes, I have said to him I'll head down to the beach with him.........I cannot believe I agreed, but I  did......going to bring a huge gigantic umbrella with me............no matter how heavy it is .......                                                                           
  
• Cease labeling yourself.  Discontinue the labeling process will help you to define who you are in more profound and spiritual terms.                                                                                                     .........I'm not fat, I'm not fat.......haha, just kidding.....me and diet don't work at all...AT ALL.  Am so hopeless at dieting, let's hope I'll keep on doing yogasanas for a lifetime.  Labeling? I do describe myself negatively when my hormones play up, safe to say I haven't done it just as yet....maybe it's the decaf cuppuccinos I've been taking. It's all good for the soul.......                                                                                                                                                    
• Your body is in a large part controlled by your mind.  Your mind causes your physical self to respond.                                                                                                                                             I agree, and I think the mind has to be strong in believing to live to your utmost potential despite circumstances.  That's also the key to overcome the physical aspects.                                                                                                                        
  
• Work each day to clear yourself of the two factors that do the most to inhibit your personal transformation: negativity and judgment                    .                                                                       ............I see that doesn't include personally of myself but 'ahimsa' to those around me too.  That helps my transformation to help me understand things better.                                                                                                                                  
  
• Examine how you treat the physical or visible you.  Know that the food you eat is maintaining the wondrous temple.                                                                                                                        Now this is challenging.....having a dad for a chef and when he cooks 'pisang goreng'  ...........Alamak!!!                   
• Allow time to meditate quietly by yourself                                                                                         Ho Hummmmmmmmmmmm
  
• Be kind and understanding of yourself.  The more you extend kindness to yourself, the more it will become your automatic response to others.                                                                      Eureka to that!!!!!
  

Resonating with Life

5 days back in Brunei and, the thought of Desiree and Andrew's Bali retreat still stays fresh in my memory. I'm still in awe of how much I have learnt during the stay in Ubud, and am keen to share my learnings with the students...so, I have organised a 2 hour workshop on the 13th September at 3pm, will be working on shoulders, hip openings and arm balancings....the response has been great so far. So, plans for tomorrow, waking up early to practice in heart and mind, play Benjy & Heather's music (it's the only music I play in the car whilst I'm driving these days), and breathing in the space of 'sheer' delight of just being back home in Brunei.

In the past week, students in the class have been absorbing my words, placing those words into their poses, and flowing into the vinyasa with grace and inner body strength. I admire their tenacity to learn more with whatever I can teach them, and their willingness of the heart is my motivation as a teacher, to help them delve deeper into their practice.

It's strange how I thought I might have lost the feeling of being 'connected' to my inner self and having to meet with 'reality', I thought I would have got back to the 'old' me. But up till now, each and everytime I wake up, when I get out of bed, I'm already thinking what life has in stored for me, embracing it with open arms knowing everything has a place and purpose...so sitting in a comfort zone is not an option I choose, I take a step forward to list things I normally avoid, kinda like the 'Yes Man'.

So here it is, back in the retreat, I was so positive in everything (kinda off...you really can't help oozing in positiveness when Nicole S. is around you), and now it's time to place those thoughts into action, finding my balance, setting my intentions. It's already started off before I set foot into the plane from Bali, and I have braved the take off's and landing's. I have even said 'yes' to things I never imagined I would have in this life time...like saying I'll go swim in the waters at the beach..Peter was so surprised, he said," Are you sure you're my wife? What have you done with Jac?"

Peter's so sweet, he made me a nice spaghetti bolognese for yesterday's lunch and made me a fruit salad after, he took us for dinner after and drove us back while I slept off in the car......(maybe I have to be elsewhere for another 2 weeks for this lovely treatment on a regular basis)

Motto for this week, being mindful of things I do, say and feel..to not be overly sensitive but not to either be insensitive to the needs of others', to be mindful of my thoughts, to be mindful of the the food I eat.......(all else except for hot chocolattttaaa and dark chocolate....... ;P) finding the balance to live, play, rest and work.

In any case, I've got a hot cup of milo (yes, right now at 1am) and Candy's chocolate brownies...yum, yum....It's all Shri........well, kinda of'.........

Live in Love 2, Ubud, Bali

Live in Love, Ubud, Bali

I went to Bali with no expectations, hoping I might have made the trip shorter by not thinking too much about it. I have never been good in my travels to foreign places, height, airplanes, take off's and landing's have never been my forte. But the yoga retreat and immersion with Desiree Rumbaugh was so deep and meaningful in every way possible...I felt I grew too attached to the place and people itself. Everyday was a new meaning to me, being with people I hardly knew and connecting myself to their experiences prooved challenging but uplifting. It's by their wisdom and knowledge of life that has helped me immensely to 'grow' spiritually and mentally stronger in my own character and faith.

I met Nicole, on our first day at the retreat. We decided to share the room I was staying in and living with her for two weeks has helped me see the greater side of all things regardless of the situation. I always thought I was laid back and pretty much the 'wiser' but she has taught me to show 'humility' for all things and her positive outlook on life is amazing. I have never met anyone as positive as her, she takes everything with a pinch of salt and embraces life with an open heart. I'm inspired to see life the way she does.

Not forgetting Carmen and Louisa from Hong Kong, ...if you ever met Louisa, you cannot help but smile when she does, she has the biggest smile that shines like the sun..and Carmen is just a groovy yoga chic, ...she even has a pose call 'Carmenasana'. Then there's Alba, Ally and Alfie from Italy...Alba, she's full of character, so expressive and a joy to be with...Ally and her mom Alfie are such inspirations to be as graceful as they are when you practice yoga. Then there's Irma from Jakarta, it was so easy to be just yourself around her cause she embraces you just as you are...she's full of warmth and ease. Ben from Shanghai, your backbends are 'out of this world'....Konstatinos from Greece, he's more than just a smile and a face, a good sense of humour when you need it the most...I would really want to see all of them again, ...setting my intentions.

Each day with Desiree R. and Andrew R. was fruitful and the insights they gave us to deepen our poses with 'ahimsa' was pretty in depth. I'm grateful and thankful I have been able to attend Desiree's classes, she is truly an inspiring teacher. The Anusara philosophy 'say to YES to life' has left an imprint on me....to the point, my phobia with flying in airplanes 'take off's and landing's' are now second nature to my travels, I was 'okay' returning home from Bali on the plane...that to me is amazing.

The immersion was more than learning the tantra philosophy, it was the willingness to open yourself to 'grace' and to 'just be'. The energy in the retreat and immersion was a room full of people filled with intentions to learn and share, it was a community built on love and inspirations.
I'm also blessed to have met Heather & Benjy Wertheimer, there music touch and 'opened' my mind along with my heart to the place and people more so that I can imagine.

Saying goodbye to everyone was one of the hardest thing I ever did...but I'm setting my intentions to see all the dear friends I have made in the near future.

"namah shivaya om"

Om-Dalicious in Ubud, Bali

It's too om-dalicious here in Ubud, Bali and I feel like this is my ideal place of complete blissfulness. Day one into Desiree Rumbaugh and Andrew Rivin is so pleasantly wonderful. They are such gifted teachers with amazing soulful and loving energy...they have so much to give. I never felt so amazingly stretched until Andrew Rivin showed me the ' wondrous' part and deeper inner feel of yogasana in each pose I did. Indescribable!!!! They are so patient and yet they both work so well with each other helping all of us to understand the 'truth' that we can all reveal in ourselves from the inside out and these all applies to the poses we do on a daily basis. Can you believe it? Day one and there's already so much I'm still learning. I'm so grateful and blessed to be a student again. Bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss.................

The locals in Bali are so friendly and it's very cultural. They are so gentle and very artistic. So much to see and lovely vegetarian meals to try out. So enticing to just try it all!!!!

I'm so loving this .........it's going to be so hard for me to leave this place.....I've never felt so at home in such a foreign but beautiful place. I wake up to water streams from the fountain near my room, having breakfast on the patio and having japanese carp fishes in pond to gaze at...bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss.............

I've met a kindred and delightful friend call Nicole from the Phillipines. We clicked on from the start of 'hello'. She's a yoga teacher too and has travelled so many places. I'm amazed at how yound she is but how mature she is in her travels and in person.

Missing Peter very much so but silly me, I didn't know there's only 2 round pin plugs in Bali and I can't charge my phone..........so Peter, if you're reading this, I'm (guys ...excuse me for this) ...I'm doing alright and yes, I'm chilling and relaxing and yogi-ing and going veggie for the next two weeks but loving it...and am thinking of you and wishing you were here with me...miss you plenty and big hugs.........and.....e.t.c....... ;P

Uh huh, the internet is slow here but at least I get to say hello to all of you out there..............

Till then..........I'm om-ma-dalicious-ing right now........